Sorry this has taken me a while to update

But somehow I’ve managed to get myself a social life. Last weekend, Shitty Roommate not only bought a brand new set of wine glasses to replace the one he broke, but also to everyone out to dinner to try and start over. It was really nice. And I’ve come to realize, Shitty Roommate isn’t really shitty. But He is Less Than Stellar Roommate. Moron Girlfriend on the other hand…

So after all this, the next 2 days, Moron girlfriend would take one or two things out of the clean dishwasher, use them and leave the rest for me to put away. She had been out at friend’s houses when I was home and doesn’t have a cell phone, so I left a note for her saying it really pisses me off when she does so, so please try to empty the dishwasher if you need something out of there since it’s a quick, simple task. She gets pissy about the note, and does the same thing the next morning. So I refused to empty it. I piled a day’s worth of dishes in our tiny sink. And I went to bed. And woke up the next morning, dishes still in the sink. I went out, ran errands, including buying dishwasher packets because we were out, and came home to find the dishwasher running with no soap. So the packets are sitting in my room. With the drainboard I bought so there will be no washing by hand.

Currently there is a dishwasher packed full of dirty dishes, and has been for 48 hours. If by tomorrow morning they are not washed I’m packing them up. Seriously, a month’s worth of stuff is 6 bucks.  Why do I need to spend money on all of the cleaning supplies? You guys make messes and use dishes. OH! And Moron Girlfriend hasn’t said a word to Boyfriend or I since the note I left her. Andddddd bills are due these next two weeks. Rent, electric and cable in the next 15 days. We’ll see.

I have the best landlord ever.

I just had a talk with him about what's going on in my house. And he was the most understanding person ever. Even offered to put them in a cheaper place they deal with, but do not own or manage, that would be "better suited for them". Then clarified that better suited meant "not as nice or well managed". So, now Boyfriend and I are going to have to sit down and work out a serious budget at least until he gets his promotion. It may mean less fun things on a regular basis, and less trips home, but to have these guys out of here? It's entirely worth it.


Now just cross your fingers that they leave peacefully.

Manners? Not in this house

I have a BEAUTIFUL stainless steel pot. It's huge. I use it to cook pastas or make soups. It was $50. Monday morning I emptied the dishwasher. Said pot was in there, with an indeterminable brown substance stuck to it. So I left it out for whoever used it to wash it by hand. It sat in the sink for 4 whole days. No one touched it. I finally broke down and bought a brillo pad and spent 20 minutes trying to clean it. No dice. Now that pot is in storage. As will any other item I see Shitty Roommate and Moron Girlfriend disrespect.

And the couch... They still let the rodent run around on it.  So this weekend I am measuring the cushions, throwing them out, making new ones, and having a professional cleaning company come in and clean it. And if I see that rodent put so much as one paw on it, guess where the couch goes? Storage. Until these two leeches leave my house.

Also, Shitty Roommate rang my phone at 3am last night. From his room. For reasons I do not know because I do not answer the phone between midnight and 8am. I can not think of a single instance where it is necessary to call someone that late. Someone died? They'll be dead when I wake up. I need a ride to the hospital? That's what 911 is for. Also, we live in the same house. It's okay to break my door at 7am on a Sunday to ask me to go to your shitty overpriced farmer's market, but you can't knock during some sort of late night crisis? Oh. I see where that makes sense.

Not to mention this kid only pays us his share of the bills when we're not home. Which would be fine if he left money in the desk in the LIVING ROOM like we ask him, but no. He comes into our bedroom and leaves it on the dresser. Listen douchebag, there is no reason for you to come in my room uninvited ever. Ever. Especially when I am not home. I need to get a hold of my landlord and speak to him about this issue. We don't have regular doors. We have no way of really locking them from the outside. So I either need a new door or they need to get out.

My patience is officially gone. I am just going to have my bitch pants on TIGHT until they leave or grow up.

The end of the month is a fun time here.

It is June first. Shitty Roommate still hasn't paid for May's cable. Or phone. Or internet.

I just got a text from our Awesome Landlord telling me our rent was short. I know we paid half since I wrote out the check. Shitty Roommate is under the impression that we should pay $5 more rent. I have no idea why.

Also, no one ran the dishwasher for 4 days. So we were out of glasses. I ran it this morning, Moron girlfriend put them away, then decided to use my $20 wine glass a water glass. For reason unknown to me. Awesome.

Sorry it's been so quiet here

I've just had a ton of other things to do, and the amount of stupidity, vomiting, and poor decisions I live with make things seem more and more trivial every day.

But yesterday we had some excitement. Shitty Roommate woke up, and was obviously having a bad morning. So I asked him what was wrong. He told me about some work shit and that Moron Girlfriend drank twice her weight in liquor the night before. When he picked her up at a friend's at midnight, she was already vomiting. It took him 2 hours to get her to a car. Drove her home, where she spent 2 and a half more hours dry heaving and/or passing out in the bathroom. Shitty Roommate put her in the shower to try to sober her up, she wanted to sleep in it. He finally got her to bed around 5:30am. She then spit up bile or whatever in the bed because she thought she was still in the bathroom. So he had to change the sheets. At 6am.

I'm hearing this story at 10:30, maybe 11 am. She was in the bathroom for all but 15 minutes. Dry heaving. Now, I hear her vomit on the regular. So I don't pay attention. I have lunch, play some video games, and look at the clock. It's Noon Thirty. I go into the living room, hear Moron Girlfriend vomiting and do some quick math. This chick has been vomiting for over 12 hours now. So I explain to Shitty Roommate how she needs to go to the ER like yesterday. And that if he didn't get her there before he went to work, I was calling an ambulance for the chick. So he took her, she was there till 7pm. She was severely dehydrated. Shitty Roommate had to go right to work when they got back, and his mother came over to help Moron Girlfriend get settled and made sure she eats something.

She gave her Edamame (soy bean pods) that she steamed in the microwave, then SALTED. WHO GIVES SALT TO A DEHYDRATED PERSON???????????? The entire picture is starting to make sense.

Also, Shitty Roommate still owes us for May's cable, June's bill just came in, electric just came in and rent is due in 4 days...... And he just got a $180 ticket.

Dear Readers: I am a horrible person

Or at least I'm sure that's what Moron Girlfriend would tell you. Yesterday, while getting ready to go run a couple of errands, I saw Moron Girlfriend in the backyard playing with the Rat. I leave, and leave the door open because she's home and it's nice out. I go to the corner store, and double back to go to the bakery and see her walking down the road. Come back from the bakery, the door is wide open, and Moron Girlfriend is nowhere to be seen. So after fuming, taking the trash out, and speaking to the landlord, I text Shitty Roommate, explain how his Moron Girlfriend is nowhere to be found, and the door was wide open when I got back.


Now, yes. I left the door open as well. But that girl was in my line of sight when I did. I could not have been in her line of sight when she left as I was not even home.

I also purchased ant traps yesterday. We have a tiny ant problem. Shitty Roommate and Moron Girlfriend have been complaining about ants for a month (which I haven't even seen) but never bought the traps even though I suggested it 4 times. Now, here's how ant traps work in case you didn't know. Poison is in traps. Ants go in to traps, walk in poison that smells like tasty, then walk back home and kill friends with residual poison. So you shouldn't exactly kill every ant you see near the traps. because otherwise the colony doesn't die, just the ants that come out. Moron Girlfriend didn't know how they worked. While I was cutting Boyfriend's hair she starts killing ants. I tell her it's best to leave them alone when there are traps. She keeps killing them. So boyfriend tells her the same thing I just did. She continues. So I explain the situation to her like she was legitimately retarded. So she stands there and stares at these ants for 10 more minutes. I just... Yeah.


Here's the kicker. She went in her room with that Rat. I take the towels and shirt Boyfriend was wearing, and set them aside to wash them after shaking them out cuz they are covered in hair. Moron Girlfriend comes out with a sheet and says she's going to put it in the washer, and I tell her she might want to wait since that stuff is covered in hair. She puts it on the kitchen chair and says "Oh I don't care it's a sheet the Rat PEED ON." And then goes back to her room. So I go shake out the towels and clothes, put them in the washer with detergent and start it up. She comes back out, sees the washer running, asks if I started it yet (duh?) and then asks if I would mind if she put the sheet in with the clothes. I very nicely say to her "I would prefer you didn't because those are our clothes, and well, that has Rat piss on it...." She grabbed the sheet and stormed into her room slamming the door.


I'm sorry. I don't want your rat piss sheets in with my clothes. If my own cat had the disrespect to pee on my stuff, I wouldn't wash it with my clothes. I would also give the cat a serious talking to. Sometimes my cat eats too fast and pukes. I don't wash the things he pukes on (if anything) with my clothes. That's disgusting. AND THIS IS MY OWN PET. ONE WHO I CONSIDER THE CLOSEST THING I'LL EVER HAVE TO A KID. Not some vermin animal that has already destroyed my belongings.



Here's the other thing. In my discussion with the landlord, he had mentioned that he is totally open to selling Boyfriend and I the house in the future if we want to buy it. Which is cool. When I told Boyfriend this, we got to talking. Shitty Roommate still owes us $35 for utilities last month. Cable bill comes due next week. And rent and utilities is the week after that. Now, when it was time to pay rent last month, Shitty Roommate put it off till he got the deposit back till the last place. If you are a month in, and already can't pay any of your bills..... What are you doing here? He's $35 behind, owes $50 in a week, and probably another $75 plus the $450 rent the next week..... He makes less than Boyfriend does, and if Boyfriend was in the same place he was..... Boyfriend would have to be super tight about money. So I give him 2 more months before he's way in over his head. Three tops.

Wow.

Just wanted to take a quick break from my roommates' ridiculous antics to say that I have almost 400 views, and even viewers in Germany and France. I don't believe I even know people there.  That's pretty awesome. Thanks guys!


In other news, Moron Girlfriend is a wasteful slag and horrific cook. I spend a good portion of my day shutting off lights, the stove fan, etc. cuz she just leaves them on. And she's cooked a lot this week. And by cooked, I mean filled the house with smoke while she sits on the couch in the living room. Yeah. I have no idea.

Shitty Roommate says he's Italian.

Our house smells like falafel. (Read: Indian food in a diaper) I ask Shitty Roommate what he's cooking. He tells me "chicken and eggplant parm".



... Now I'm sorry but I was born and raised in an Italian household. I know what chicken and eggplant parm smells like. And I know that it sure as hell smells nothing like falafel. Also, I was shown a pile of pancetta then told "I'm also putting prosciutto in it". I'm not entirely sure how to deal with these things in my brain.

They strike again!

Last night at about 8 o'clock I went out on our porch to have a smoke. Our porch has been converted to a sunroom so is technically a part of the house and is the room we smoke in. Shitty Roommate, Moron Girlfriend and their Eternally High Friend were out there watching a movie on their laptop and eating a watermelon. A whole watermelon. On the rind. With a spoon.

Around 10 pm I came back out for another smoke and the three of them had left to take Eternally High Friend home. And there was the watermelon on the floor. Half eaten, still with the spoon.

This morning I woke up, saw Boyfriend off to work, and went out for my morning cigarette and what do I see? Watermelon and spoon. Still there. So I took it in the kitchen and set it on the table. The kitchen counter had chinese food left out on it and a literal fuckton of dirty dishes. When Shitty Roommate and Moron Girlfriend woke up at the crack of noon, they came out to the kitchen, looked at the watermelon on the table, and Shitty Roommate asked if I "wanted him to take that out for me".


Uhhhhhhhhh for me? Really, for ME? I didn't eat any watermelon and I sure didn't leave the rind on the porch all night. Slobs.

I have just been informed

By Shitty Roommate that I need to tell him next time I go to Petco so he can go cuz he "really needs to get out there man".

Petco is 10 minutes up the road. Shitty Roommate has a car. Take yourself? If your pet needs food go buy pet food for it. It's not my responsibility. Just like it's not my responsibility to feed your Moron Girlfriend.

Oh Moron Girlfriend… *shakes head*

I just don’t think I’ve ever had so much contact with such a dumb individual. I could probably start a secondary blog titled “A year’s worth of dumb shit from this girl’s mouth”. Don’t get me wrong, she’s sweet as pie, but just as intelligent.

Yesterday she got a bill from her doctor for $720. Because she went in for a pregnancy test recently. Plus 20 other things. So she asked me to look at it and help her figure out why they charged so much. So I look at it, and at the top it says “no coverage found” So obviously they’re not billing her insurance. I ask and she tells me she has insurance. I ask if she gave them the card and she says no. Well, then… Are they mind readers? Apparently she is on a friend’s insurance. And said friend has her insurance card. Well that makes sense. She’s 20 years old. Why does someone else have her insurance card?


Then later we’re sitting talking about her pregnancy scare, and I mention that I have never once had a scare and she seemed shocked and asked how I could be so sure. I explained that I don’t ovulate since I’m on birth control. She asked me what ovulation had to do with getting pregnant. I had no words for that. None.


She also has a horrible habit of inviting herself out when I go somewhere. And it’s not that she does it that bothers me, it’s how she does it. Like, were I leaving to go food shopping and she were to say “Mind if I come with you?” I would gladly bring her along to where ever. But Boyfriend and I generally go out to eat once a week, maybe twice if we have a reason or extra money. And last night before Boyfriend even got home I said something about that we were going out for dinner and should get dressed and Moron Girlfriend says “Oh, maybe I’ll get a little tipsy and go out with you guys.” Here are my problems with this. 1. For all she knows we are going on a date. Why would we want her there, much less drunk underage at a table where I plan on drinking alcohol? 2. Tuesday nights are wing nights. Boyfriend and I go out with his friends to hang out and eat cheap wings and escape a bit from home. Again, why would I want to bring her when I’m going to get away from her? 3. She didn’t ask if she could come with us, just pretty much stated she was going to get drunk and go with us. No.

It’s really a lack of manners or possibly a lack of intelligence to realize there is a lack of manners. She also got fairly miffed when I mentioned to both of them that leaving dirty food stuff out is entirely unacceptable. She just went “well I feel like I do most of the cleaning.” Good! You have no money, you don’t cook, how in the fuck else can we justify having you here? No I don’t pay bills, but I did pay the small portion of rent and deposit for my cat. And I clean every day. I do laundry. I iron. I cook dinner. I take the garbage out. I take care of the house while Boyfriend takes care of the bills. So wtf woman? Contribute to your life.

Sorry this took me a while

This weekend was… Interesting. We presented Shitty Roommate and Moron Girlfriend with a roommate agreement. And surprisingly they signed it. Somehow though, I do not hold out for a complete stop of shenanigans. They seemed to not understand the concept of feeding themselves though. Shitty Roommate kept saying “we’ll work something out”. We have. We buy our own food. You buy your own food. Fin. He also said “Well I bought $150 worth of produce…..” Yup. Cuz crazy foods make dinner.

Anyway, Shitty Roommate has 6 months to replace the couch. Boyfriend voiced concerns to him about Moron Girlfriend vomiting her stomach lining up and he said she just has a lot of mucus in the morning. I’m sorry, but I know the difference between coughing up and spitting out “lung butter” and sticking fingers down your throat till you vomit 2-3 times a day.

Well then.

Shitty Roommate or Moron Girlfriend broke Boyfriend's new 360 today. Awesome. Tomorrow will be interesting. We're having a house meeting and are giving them the roommate agreement first thing in the morning.

Nothing like waking up to vomit in the toilet.

I swear I couldn’t make this up if I tried. I had the house to myself most of yesterday. From about 2pm on. It was fantastic. When Boyfriend got home from work we decided to finish putting the rest of the stuff in the basement for storage. It’s been relatively hot here the past few days, and while carrying boxes downstairs Boyfriend yells up at me asking if he should bring up the fan so it can cool down in here. We agree it’s a good idea and he looks around and tells me the fan must be in the living room because it’s not downstairs.

We finish bringing stuff down and go look in the living room. No fan. Boyfriend was very confused. So I think for a minute and remember that there was most definitely a fan running in Shitty Roommate and Moron Girlfriend’s room last night/earlier that morning. I bet Boyfriend 10 bucks it was his. So we open the door to their room, and sure enough, his fan. Boyfriend is pissed. We take it out along with another thing of his that they deemed necessary to take ownership of and bring them in our room.


I don’t understand what makes someone think they have a right to just use someone else’s stuff in any way they see fit without even asking first. And he does it with my things too. There’s the rat in the couch deal, he has decided my nice wooden bowls are his personal fruit bowls [They’re now in storage], when I took out my spice rack, he told me which ones I should throw away because he never cooks with them…
I’m sorry, but if I pay for all the food, why do I care in the slightest bit what you cook with? I should probably pack that back up today for the time being now that I think about it.


And when I woke up and used the bathroom this morning there was vomit in the toilet. Living with a bulimic rules!!!!
I suppose now I will just wait for the inevitable bitch fest of “WHY WERE YOU GUYS IN MY ROOM TAKING YOUR THINGS BACK WHEN YOU WANTED TO USE THEM??? WAHHHHHHH” when Shitty Roommate gets up.

ZOMG ANOTHER ENTRY SO SOON?????

Shitty Roommate just informed Boyfriend he can not pay the cable/electric/phone bill on time. And being that it’s a small $50 payment, my money is not on him being able to pay rent. I love my life.

Oh man, Shitty Roommate may be as stupid as Moron Girlfriend.

He just yells across the house "HOLY SHIT YOU GOT LETTERS FROM ALL OF [messageboard we frequent]!!!!!!!!"






Earlier today, I put stamps on Giftmas cards from this year that never got sent out and put them in the mailbox for our mailman.




I yell back "Did you never learn how to read an envelope? Those are letters I am mailing."

A look in the the hollow space between Moron Girlfriend's ears

Now, I do not have a lot of money. I get foodstamps. That’s how little money I have. So being that it’s the end of the month, I have very little foodstamps as well. Tuesday I went shopping for the week. Boyfriend gave me cash, and I asked Shitty Roommate and Moron Girlfriend if they needed/wanted anything. Of course they did and so I asked if they had money to throw in. They said no, they just paid student loans. And I quickly explain I had $40 left for food for the rest of the month and if I could afford these things I would get them. 

I leave, get in the car, and before I pull out of the driveway, I call to check my balance so I know exactly how much I have and can spend. I had $24 left. But it was okay. I had some frozen chicken at home, enough for at least 2 meals, and some sauce so we could have at least one pasta meal. I will not bore your all with the details of my grocery spoils, but I got enough food for Boyfriend and I to eat a decent breakfast and lunch until the 2^nd for only $23.50.

When I got home Moron Girlfriend was in the kitchen. And I explained how I in fact had half the money I thought I did, so at least until I get more foodstamps I was going to need her help rearranging the fridge. I was going to take one shelf, one door rack and one cabinet. So were her and her boyfriend. We have a third shelf and rack which is going to be designated “Communal” and split the freezer.

Now here is where it gets fun. The night before, Boyfriend and I had Salmon for dinner. She does not eat fish. Tuesday is Wing Night and we go out to eat. Last night I cooked four servings of chicken cutlets for sandwiches. And delicious fried oyster mushrooms. I did not offer any to Moron Girlfriend because I had exactly enough for Boyfriend and I to have it for dinner, and the leftovers for lunch today. During dinner, Boyfriend commented that I had gotten my nails done, which is true, and then asked me what I ordered on Amazon.com.

Now, before someone asks why I am not feeding this girl when I have money to shop on Amazon, and to get my nails done….. I work on a budget. The state gives me a set amount every month for food. I can feed myself on that. And feed Boyfriend. I do not spend loose change. I save it, take it to Coinstar, and cash it in for an Amazon gift certificate because I can get ANYTHING on Amazon and they don’t take a percentage of my money to do that. I also can afford $40 a month to pamper myself in the tiniest bit. I don’t feel that I need to give that up in order to feed my roommate.

So anyway, as Boyfriend and I are discussing things involving money I spent today, you can feel Moron Girlfriend getting annoyed. And after we ate, we retired to our room to hang out for a while. You could hear Moron Girlfriend slamming things around the house. Fairly certain she’s mad at me.

For funsies, here are some of her antics as of late:

1.     I am entirely certain she is bulimic. Every morning, at about 10:30, she gets up, goes to the bathroom, turns on the faucet, and gags for 10-30 minutes. Up until last week she thought she was pregnant and so did I due to the puking. But she went to the OB, took a test there and is not. She’s also concerned about “all the weight she gained” when she thought she was pregnant. The girl wears a size 1.

2.     She will rearrange things I put in the dishwasher so less stuff fits, but never runs it once she makes it full. I have to go through it every night and move everything back to where stuff fits so I can run the wash.

3.     When she cooks, she leaves her mess out for 2+ hours after she eats before she will clean up her mess.

4.     She often assumes that I will drive her across town for free when gas is $4 a gallon.

5.     I am a smoker. But I smoke on the closed in porch or outside. Because I do not want my house to smell like stale smoke. I also open the windows on the porch and spray fabreeze in there when I am finished. There is a window in the wall between the porch and the living room. Often, when Shitty Roommate smokes on the porch he opens the window to the house. I always go and close it the next time I am in there, but it takes two people. The side where you can physically close the windowpane, and the lock to keep it up are on two different sides. So one person needs to hold it shut while the other locks it. Yesterday, I ask Moron Girlfriend to do me a favor and lock the window so I could go smoke and “I do not like my house to smell like smoke”.  She replies “Oh no, Shitty Roommate opened it, it can stay open.” I had to repeat my sentence, overemphasizing and pantomiming the words “I” and “my”. She looked at me as if to say “why do you care what it smells like in here?”.

6.     She always rearranges things I have put in the common area to suit her liking. I often will move shit for no reason while she is sleeping or not home just to watch her try to fix it when she gets home or wakes up.

This weekend Boyfriend and I are presenting them with a roommate agreement. Either they will agree, sign it and this blog will die (Unlikely.), or Shitty Roommate will throw a temper tantrum and Boyfriend and I will remove one item we own from common areas every day that passes. Which is a good 95% of the stuff in the house. We have yet to decide if it would be more amusing if we took the tv or couch away first.

This conversation just happened.

Shitty Roommate: You know you can eat the fruit I get right?

Me: I don’t eat any of it.

Shitty Roommate: Well it might help you afford food.

………..

Oh. Right. I see how that makes sense. o.0

It is probably a good idea to give you guys a little background.

The Characters:

Me: I am a mid-twenties “House-Girlfriend”. I am currently unemployed, recently relocated, and looking to go back to school. During the day I make sure dishes are cleaned, laundry is washed and dried, and dinner is cooked. I take care of he house in exchange for Boyfriend taking care of our bills.

Boyfriend: Boy friend and I have been dating a little over a year now. He is gainfully employed and makes enough to afford me to stay home and be the “house-girlfriend”. He and Shitty Roommate [formerly known as Awesome Roommate] having been living together for over a year now.

Shitty Roommate: I have known Shitty Roommate for over 2 years. He used to be Awesome Roommate until recently. He apparently works a good enough job to afford to let Moron Girlfriend sit on her lazy ass all day.

Moron Girlfriend: I’ve only known Moron Girlfriend for 3 weeks. I don’t ever see her do much that doesn’t include smoking pot, playing video games, StumbleUpon, or watching TV/Boyfriend’s Netflix.

3 weeks down, 49 to go.

I just signed a one year lease and have been living with my boyfriend for 3 weeks now. He is wonderful, our relationship is wonderful, and we are having a wonderful time. His roommate, however, is a psychopath.


Alright, maybe not a legit psychopath, but he is the biggest man child ever. We're two couples living together. There is Me & Boyfriend, and Shitty Roommate & Moron Girlfriend. (Some names have been changed to protect identities.) As far as bills go, each couple is responsible for half the rent and utilities. Also food. When one person cooks, they cook for everyone. So food is community food. When Boyfriend moved in, he bought $200 worth of food. The next week I moved in and bought $150 worth of food. Last week Boyfriend and I spent $80 on food, and I spent an additional $40 for Easter foods. So $470 on food. Shitty Roommate has spent $0. I have fed Moron Girlfriend every night for free. As of today we are dividing the fridge and cabinets, and Moron Girlfriend will have to fend for herself. Shitty Rommate's reasoning is that since he goes to the farmer's market and spends a stupid amount of money on strange produce NO ONE but he will eat, we should pay for everything else.


Speaking on the farmer's market, he wants us to go with him every week. On Saturday, at 7am. He broke my bedroom door last time he asked us to go since we were ignoring his knocking.


Shitty Roommate also hates to do dishes. If there are dishes in the sink, he will break them if he has to do them. Including things like $20 wine glasses.


And the icing in this situation is his pet Rat and how he cars for it. When Shitty Roommate and Boyfriend moved in together a year ago, I lent Boyfriend a couch I had just bought, and was in storage since he did not own one. Shitty Roommate got a pet Rat and has let it LIVE IN THE COUCH. The cushions are torn and ruined, it is probably full of rat piss and shit, and he doesn't see an issue with it. He has gone so far as to offer to have it cleaned when I explained he needed to replace it. This was not a couch I purchased via Craigslist. This is a couch I purchased brand new, with a pullout queen bed, so I could still have company over for a night even if I lived in a one bedroom.


Today I am going food shopping for the week. We made an agreement that I would do all the food shopping since I am a housewife and everyone taking a week and rotating was absurd and hard to keep track of. So Shitty Roommate and I agreed that he would throw $20-$40 in for food for the week. He has never thrown in a dime but always has a list of 20 things he needs from the store.
Today, I tell him when he doesn't want to give me money, that we are splitting the fridge and cabinets and I will no longer be feeding him or Moron Girlfriend. We will see how this works out.