Last night at about 8 o'clock I went out on our porch to have a smoke. Our porch has been converted to a sunroom so is technically a part of the house and is the room we smoke in. Shitty Roommate, Moron Girlfriend and their Eternally High Friend were out there watching a movie on their laptop and eating a watermelon. A whole watermelon. On the rind. With a spoon.
Around 10 pm I came back out for another smoke and the three of them had left to take Eternally High Friend home. And there was the watermelon on the floor. Half eaten, still with the spoon.
This morning I woke up, saw Boyfriend off to work, and went out for my morning cigarette and what do I see? Watermelon and spoon. Still there. So I took it in the kitchen and set it on the table. The kitchen counter had chinese food left out on it and a literal fuckton of dirty dishes. When Shitty Roommate and Moron Girlfriend woke up at the crack of noon, they came out to the kitchen, looked at the watermelon on the table, and Shitty Roommate asked if I "wanted him to take that out for me".
Uhhhhhhhhh for me? Really, for ME? I didn't eat any watermelon and I sure didn't leave the rind on the porch all night. Slobs.
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